Dance of the Drunk Mantis

aka 'Drunken Master 2' 
aka ''Dance of the Drunken Mantis'
Director: Yuen Wo-Ping, 1979

They call me ol' rubber legs...

A smörgåsbord of golden age kung fu from the master Yuen Wo-Ping.

Plot: Fight-era China. Trouble has been a-brewin' between the Northern and Southern variants of Drunken Boxing, as seen to great effect in Drunken Master. The Southern master Sam Seed (Yuen Wo-Ping's real-life dad, Simon Yuen) is leading a loafter life down in Canton, never far from the wine bottle and shirking his homely duties. The more vigorous Northern Master Rubber Legs (the Right Honourable Minister Of Boot, Hwang Jang Lee) has meanwhile blended his Drunken Boxing with Mantis Fist, resulting in Boxing Fist. Sorry, I mean 'Drunken Mantis'. Rubber Legs heads off South to Canton to challenge Sam Seed, with henchman Corey Yuen (fortune and later director of No Retreat, No Surrender). Meanwhile back at Seed Towers, Mrs Seed (Lynda Lin, returning from Drunken Master) fends off her husband's debt collectors and has adopted a son, Foggy, (Yuen Shun-Yi, who is of course Simon Yuen's actual son). Sam half-heartedly trains his son in Drunken Fist, but upsets him, and Foggy takes flight only to run into Sick Fist Master (veteran Yen Shi-Kwan) in his trick-coffin! Here he learns of three new styles: Sick Fist, Book Fist and Magic Fist to blend with Drunk Fist. 

Rubber Legs lures Sam Seed to a tearoom at night for a 'courtesy kung fu' table fight - see clip above - where it becomes clear that the Drunken Mantis is too powerful. Sam flees; Mum and Foggy best the spear-wielding henchman, and the scene is set for a THREE vs one barney at Sick Fist's farm: Drunkens Mantis vs Drunk/Sick/Book/Magic Fist, plus a special new move at the end!

Fights:
The outstanding fight, and possibly the best example of its type, is the tearoom table-top face-off between Rubber Legs and Sam Seed. Lots of hilarious false starts as they test each others defences 'courteously', and terrific close-quarter acrobatics. Watch this one and compare with similar from Hero among Heroes and see which you prefer, tough call but this edges it for me.

Henchman Corey Yuen has a decent halberd vs. sword fight with Mrs Seed, which blends straight into halberd vs. bare hands from Foggy. Corey and Foggy have a shorter comedy dust-up earlier before Foggy has mastered his new styles. 

More comedy bundles earlier in Foggy's outdoor cafe, against his (unbeknownst to him) Dad, and moneybags Dean Shek who throws some interesting 'financial' shapes!

The end fight is relentless - some fantastic shapes from Hwang, and as expected some brutal boot, but with three good guys on site a longer fight with more 'team tag' and teaming up would have been welcome. Foggy blends all the styles well, and you get a helpful announcement of each before they strike.

The introduction of Sick Fist is hilarious - the very notion that a boxing style can be enriched by not feeling very well!

Training: 
Pretty good as expected, given the Drunken Master heritage, but understandably not reaching the classic heights Jackie Chan  showed in Drunken Master or Yuen Wo-Ping's Snake in the Eagle's Shadow. 

Cliché bingo: (1) Tearoom bundle with bullied waiter (2) marketplace ruck (3) moneybags the crooked banker (4) echo on introductory voiceover (5) Hwang Jang Lee laughing and then immediately looking cross....all present and correct. But - gasp! -The Plateau™ is not used here! Must have been busy - get your bookings in early, directors.

Overall: 4.5 out of 5,  a terrific addition to the Drunken Fist genre and more of a true sequel than the later official Drunken Master 2

Five Fingers of Steel

Plot: A grisly murder is being investigated by the local governor as Captain Yu (Yen Shi Kwan) arrives in town to woo his cousin at a family gathering, hosted by his Uncle and family patriarch Yu Hu (Lau Hok-Nin, in a greybeard 'disguise'). Yu Hu is one of those respectable, older martial artists with an extremely slow fuse: when rascals from the local 'One Kick School' barge in uninvited, he lets them trash the party with a drunken Dragon dance. Of course, the slowest fuse is often the most dangerous, and he administers some firm bashings to help his hot-headed nephews overcome the ne'er-do-wells.

Meanwhile, Mr Chan (Chan Lau, the snivelling lackey's snivelling lackey) toadies up to the governor to convince him to use Captain Yu to courier the town treasure, via his Ping-Ah escort company (no, not that sort of escort company). But wait! It's all a set-up to ambush Captain Yu, masterminded by the head of One Kick School and usurper to the governor's seat, Mr Choi (Kwan Young Moon). As Captain Yu is defeated in shame, his beloved is taken (and gruesomely ) by Mr Choi and he is imprisoned. After a prison break he falls in with hermit Wong Lung (Hwang Jang Lee), an old enemy of Mr Choi, and rescuer of Captain Yu's collegue Lung Chan (Yuen Miu) from the treasure ambush. A posse is raised and the two are hounded through the countryside, including an imaginitive torchlight arrest; but they escape back to Wong Lung. The grisly murder from the start is resolved, leading to an imaginative final showdown on an isolated wooden platform in the woods: Kwan Young Moon vs Hwang Jang Lee!!!!

Production: Nothing too lavish in terms of scenery or costumes, the usual dusty plateaus and forest paths play host to the fights. Music is a mix of Spaghetti with wah-funk and traditional Chinese for good measure. Some hilariously varied dubbing, ranging from Texas drawl to English West country (oo-ar!!). There's a particularly nasty subplot involving graphic rape and infanticide which I, personally, could really do without: Kwan Young Moon's "BWA-HAH-HAH!!" Todd Slaughter-esque villainy and Chan Lau's toadying is enough to tick all the bad-guy boxes and still be entertaining, really no need to sledgehammer the point home about how really really bad they are. Would have much preferred an extended training sequence instead...

And the film has one of those strange 'sudden endings' you get now and again: see also 'Shaolin Deadly Kicks', 'Sixty Second Assassin'.

Fights: The first barney at the wedding is fast hit-and-hope but filmed with an engaging energy. Patriarch Yu steams in with some tasty palm to show the cheeky upstarts from One Kick School, who, despite ther alma mater don't appear to be the best kickers. The Escort party has a great tumble with some hoodies. The prison escape sequence is good fun, making good use of the prisoner's shackles and including a tubby jailer being beaten in the belly repeatedly.

Two standouts: the torchlight forest sequence, making AMAZING use of flaming torches with very little caution. You flinch each time there's a thrust! Great stuff.

And, of course, the big one: Hwang Jang Lee vs. Kwan Young Moon. Two of Korea's greatest kickers face off for a revenge-fuelled blistering barrage of blazing boot! OUTRAGEOUS triple kicks, a leaping kick to the neck (!), a back kick to the head: the boys really let fly and of course this is Manna for the boot fan. Without spoiling too much, the other heroes Yu and Lung weigh in with a short sword and sai, and Kwan has a trick up sleeve (or rather near his socks...). In fact the only minor grumble is that I would have preferred the whole fight to be HJL vs. KWM, but overall the fight is excellent.

Training: HJL trains by kicking over trees. These are possibly from a sustainable forest, but that's not clear from the end credits...he also has a great array of coconuts in a wooden frame to kick and claw!

Overall: 4/5, excellent fights, some good-but-short training and only loses a mark for some lazy villainy. ESSENTIAL for boot fans.

Putting the boot in: My Top 10 Kickers

Note: this article also appears at Shaolinchamber36.com - if you want to be a disciple, enter the chamber!

I would argue that what makes Kung Fu fight scenes special are kicks, more so than weapons and hand techniques. Poles, halberds, soft swords, nunchaku are all spectacular to watch; and offer some dazzling conflict that is quite fantastic, in the old sense of the word - in other words not easy to relate to or think you can copy yourself. Brutal punch and block is fun too, but in this context suffer the opposite problem to weapons - the movements are familiar and hence are not spectacular enough. Wicked shapes (eagle claw, crane fist etc.) inject novelty into hand fighting, and lead to excellent training sequences, but the gravity-defying kicks have a special place: they are simultaneously far-removed from the average person's capabilities, and yet achievable using nothing more than the legs you were given and years of practice.

A spectacular kick is difficult to pull off, and a combo of multiple kicks even more so. Now, I say 'spectacular' because Kung Fu movies are about spectacular kicks, not necessarily effective ones. The same can be said of punches: John Wayne's 'all or nothing' haymaker was telegraphed to the point where you could have watched one of his other films before it landed, so it wouldn't have been as effective as a quick poke to the eyes, but by Jove it looked hard.

An effective kick is pretty simple: deliver the correct tool to the correct target area at speed. E.g., a snap kick to the charlies and it's game over, same goes for a well-placed shin, knee, or thigh kick. All of these are achieveable by most people with minimal training because the leg does not have to go particularly high, and hence average flexibility and strength is sufficient. But of course if Kung Fu movies simply had these kicks we would miss out on a terrific range of flying, jumping, spinning an shifting kicks; often delivered in brutal combos.

So who is/was the best? When comparing the Jade screen kickers I wanted to use the following criteria:

• variety of kicks: was it the same old boot time and again or did they mix it up?
• speed and execution: including balance, accuracy and apparent force
• combo ability: how did they string kicks together? The difficulty of a combo rises exponentially as more kicks are added, since the kicker has to recover to a stance each time, and make sure they can still aim for their victim whose target points have been moved by the previous kick.
• career: how many top-notch kicking performances have they given us over the years?
• 'kicking charisma': were the kicks ferocious and devastating, or just balletic and placed?

All marks out of 10. Right, with that out of the way, on with my Top 10:

10. Whang in Sik 36/50
Variety: 7. Turning, reverse, jump reverse, side kicks and good flying side kicks which doubled-up (see Young Master)
Speed and Execution: 8. Fast, balanced, the Hapkido Grand Master is always in control
Combo ability: 7. Good on the turn, see his first fight in Golden Belt. Strings together turning and reverse turning nicely.
Kicking Career: 6. When Taekwondo Strikes, Young Master, Dragon Lord as good examples.
Kicking Charisma: 8. Amazing in Young Master, incredibly vicious!

9. Bruce Lee 37/50
Variety: 6. Bruce would tend to concentrate on side and turning kicks with the odd reverse, and off course the famous flying side kick. No leg shapes as such.
Speed and Execution: 8. Lightning fast, only loses a couple of marks for the occasional sloppy kick (leg just lifted up behind awkwardly for a supposedly devastating blow)
Combo ability: 6. The most famous being the chain of reverse turning kicks in Fist of Fury, but see Hwang Jang Lee's version of the same in Canton Viper as comparison. Bruce's style was more about savage blows than stylish combos.
Kicking Career: 7. Obviously we lost him too young, but he left behind excellent kicking footage.
Kicking Charisma: 10. Goes without say, you could almost feel the kick in his eyes.

8. Yuen Biao 39/50
Variety: 7. Turning, reverse, jump reverse, side kicks and good flying side kicks which doubled-up (see Young Master)
Speed and Execution: 8. One of the very best reverse turning kickers (where you turn you back on th eopponent and then spin, whipping the heel of the rear leg straight to the head)
Combo ability: 8, because he mixes the kicks up beautifully with tumbling and comic expressions
Kicking career: 9. Knockabout, Prodigal Son, Wheels on Meals, Dreadnaught...and that's just the old school stuff! Add in the modern day classics (Righting Wrongs, Dragons Forever, Wheels on Meals) and then left-field action (Iceman Cometh, Champions) and you have a great portfolio.
Kicking Charisma: 8. Two gears here: comedy, where the kicks are fast and so well acted that he's a joy to wash in full flow.; or for modern day, he comes over well as the young man pushed too far and venting his anger on the msicreants.

7. Tony Jaa 40/50
variety: 9. Knees, back heels, outrageous off-kilter twists; he's brought a whole new breed of kicking to the fans.
Speed and execution: 9. The lampost kick in Tom Yun Goong; the knee takedown in Ong Bak - good grief.
Combo ability: 8, to be fair the knees are so deadly that it's clear the first strike is enough! But can string them together very nicely when he has to.
Kicking career: 7, only three starring roles in though!!
Kicking Charisma: 7. He can look a bit too relaxed in fights, he needs to work on this to inject some fury (after all, those bad guys just stole his statue/elephant/childhood!!!)

6. Kwan Young Moon
Variety: 8 Lots of little jumping (bicycle) kicks, angular reverses showcasing his long limbs,
Speed and execution: 9. Superb sidekick, and cat like balance for a taller man
Combo ability: 8. Depending on the era, really: earlier on he would throw one at a time, but for the new wave movies he was chaining turning and jump-reverse turning kicks, doubling up on sidekicks and landing multiple mid-air blows.
Kicking career: 8. Excellent pedigree but more often as back-up, he really was a "super sub" that you were delighted to see, whether as the boss (The Loot) or merely credited as 'The Leg Fighter' (Rebellious Reign). A shame he only got major screen time in a few films (Death Fist for example).
Charisma: 9. "Blessed" with a really fierce, mean look; somewat mitigated by a choice of suspect threads in his modern age bashers (Death Fist, Kill the Ninja,

5. Angela Mao 44/50
Variety: 8. Makes good use of the most popular kicks but doesn't go for the more esoteric stuff.
Combo ability: 9. The 'mistress of spin', able to stitch together multiple reverse turning kicks, turning kicks, side kicks.
Speed and execution: 9. Fast, accurate, and vigorous. Once she gets going there's no stopping her!
Kicking career: 9. When Taekwondo Strikes, Hapkido, The Himalayan, Enter the Dragon to name but a few.
Kicking Charisma: 9. Eyes of a killer, face of an angel; looks terrific in full flow, whether winning easily or desperately fighting for her life.

4. John Liu 45/50
Variety: 9. Arcing downward kicks, the face-sweeping vertical kick, consecutive kicks off the front leg, and some great leg shapes (see Instant Kung Fu Man)
Speed and execution: 10. Extremely flexible, fast, graceful and balanced. Never looks out of control. He trained under Tan Tao Liang who brought out the best in his stretches (although I don't believe that he forced him into splits beyond his range - that would result in pulled adductors…). Note that at times he is as guilty of favouring his right leg as his mentor is his left.
Combo ability: 9: Can keep going with one leg for multiple kicks, then switch to a rear-leg reverse seamlessly. Not averse to throwing in a full splits on the ground before leaping up to continue!
Kicking career:9. Kick-centric throughout, obvious classics such as Secret Rivals, Secret Rivals 2, Invincible Armour, Mar's Villa, etc...
Kicking Charisma: 8. Loses out a little here, he's such a talented kicker that he rarely looks overstrained or like he's really trying. His trademark smile is good in the breaks in fights but he never looks as fierce as, say, Wong Tao in the key battles, Best playing 'cool companion' to a sidekick who can provide all the burning vengeance.

2=. Casanova Wong 48/50
Variety: 9. Huge range of Taekwon-do kicks, especially keen to showcase his flying, spinning and jumping kicks often with multiple hits.
Combo ability: 10. See Master Strikes for an incredible 3-hit mid air combo, 'South Shaolin vs North Shaolin' for long, flowing, irresistible combos. Quite possibly the 'king of spinning', rotating like a manic top at high speed, throwing a kick each time - amazing!
Speed and execution: 10. Rumoured to be nicknamed 'The Human Tornado' in the Korean army, which has long been the foundation for the very best Taekwon-Do fighters. His flying 360 back kick at the end of Warriors Two may be the best single kick I've seen.
Kicking career: 10. So many great moments from 1977 up to 1985, catch them all!
Kicking Charisma: 9. Flowing style great to watch but maybe lacks a bit of facial fierceness and presence to give the strikes that extra edge.

2=. Tan Tao Liang 48/50
Variety: 8. Usually favours side/turning/reverse-turning with occasional flying kicks and low sweeps.
Combo ability: 10. low/high, low/medium/high turning kick followed by the reverse; also turning kick, then hooking across the face with the heel and following up with the reverse being some highlights.
Speed and execution: 10. Outstanding, he may be a little bit slower than some but there's a gravity about him that makes everything graceful and vicious. Favours the left leg a bit but that makes for unusual consecutive kick-combos because the camera can capture everything from one side.
Kicking career: 10. Always delivers in spades: The Himalayan, Shaolin Deadly Kicks, The Hot the Cool and the Vicious, Showdown at the Cotton Mill...
Kicking Charisma: 10. Spaghetti-Western cool, his powerful but relaxed stance always makes him look in charge.

1. Hwang Jang Lee 50/50
Variety: 10. Uses every part of the foot (or boot) to devastating effect: twisting kicks, flying back kicks, and everything else from his TKD training (plus a few more he appears to have invented)
Combo ability: 10. Outrageous mid-air multiple front kicks; flying sidekick into flying back kick; mid-air twisting/sidekick; spinning reverse against multiple opponents...and let's not forget the brutal slap-slap-slap across the face as he lays in with turning & hooking kicks (see Canton Viper's 17-hit combo!)
Speed and execution: 10. So good he made The Art of High Impact Kicking - the opening sequence says it all as he delivers his varied armoury with perfection. And in Five Fingers of Steel, he trains by kicking down trees!
Kicking career: 10. Let's just say that even if he's in an otherwise dodgy film as a cameo (I'm looking at you , Eagle's Killer) then you have to catch it. And when you do get a better film chance's are you'll get some juicy Eagle Claw thrown in for good measure. Of course, Invincible Armour, Hellz Windstaff, Dance of the Drunk Mantis, Secret Rivals, Tiger Over Wall are essential - and I could just keep adding to this list!
Kicking Charisma: 10. He's The Silver Fox - 'nuff said. That stare - that manic laugh - the FURY in his eyes as he boots 'em senseless. Possibly the only man to look terrifying in a ludicrous blonde wig, or when dubbed like a Hanna Barbera villain. I'm still trying to create a machine that will take me to the parallel universe where Bruce and Hwang in their prime had a staring contest...

Honourable mentions who did not make my 10:
Jackie Chan - his panicky hyper-kickboxing has delivered some cracking boot moments over the years.
Lily Li - Balletic stances and great novelty kicks
Ken Lo Kwai Wong - Tall, leggy and brutal Muay Thai, the final fight in Drunken Master II is essential.
Ron Smoorenburg - outstanding flexibility and technique, cracking fight in "Who am I?". Just needs more films!
Jet Li - some terrific kicks in Fist of Legend but has too much wirework to be a serious contender for my list (although we all love the No-Shadow kick from Fu-Shan :)
Donnie Yen - comes across as really powerful (see Flashpoint) and is a terrific all-rounder, just to my mind edged out in the modern kicking stakes to Tony Jaa.
Bill 'Superfoot' Wallace - surely Hollywood's finest ever kicker, and apparently nicknamed after a Hot Dog! His 60 mph left leg was devastating. His competitive career took precedence over his films otherwise I'm sure he would have made my list.
Chloe Bruce - 18 years Tang Soo Do expertise, staggering flexibility, amazing speed (see www.chloebruce.co.uk); HK and Hollywood directors need to give her the starring role she deserves (hint hint)
Oh, and I love Chen Singh kicking - not as graceful as others, but that's one beefy hoof he packs!

Further reading:
This article was my attempt to come up with a way of ranking the great kickers. For further history and background, check out the following:

Albert Valentin's four-part http://www.kungfucinema.com/the-art-of-kicking-part-1-the-kickers-of-classic-kung-fu-3346 looking at eras in kicking history from early Kung Fu through to New Wave and Hollywood.

From 2003 but worth a look: the bootmasters page http://www.bootmasters.btinternet.co.uk/text/introduction.htm

You Tube has a wealth of kicking clips - just search for the kicker or film, and dig out montages like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjW2AbSD-YA

The kicker's biographies may be found at www.flkcinema.com

Mortal Battle AKA Kill the Ninja

A trio of rogues steal a shipment of smuggled cash, but before long they are fighting suspicion, mistrust and the Hong Kong Mafia!

Plot: A shipment of $2millon dollars concealed in a coffin has been smuggled into Hong Kong harbour, to a great Rod Serling-style voiceover 'Hong Kong:what a lovely place for a funeral'. Three friends King Kim (Bobby Kim), Pong Mar Kow (Hwang Jang Lee) and Shintaro (Kwan Young Moon) gatecrash the monastery where the money (secreted in a statue) has landed, but driving away Kim is done for speeding and a suspicious copper confiscates the statue. As the gang plot a way to get it back, an office cleaning lady sells the statue to an antique dealer, and the gang start to suspect each other of stealing it for themselves.

Kim turns up at the sleazy nightclub where Pong hangs out with his girlfriend Lotus Lee and starts a fight first with the bouncers and then Pong. The old friends soon make up though, and go back to the club to discuss. Of course, you can't spell 'discussion without 'd-i-s-c-o' and so the pair cut a dashing step on the dancefloor to some outrageous 70's funk. In fact Hwang is so good here 'The Art of High Impact Dancing' could have been a bestselling video.


Meanwhile the local gang boss has rumbled them and sends his cadre of toughs against each in turn - one of whom decides to betray his fellows and take all the money...

Production: From the team of Richard and Henry Park, this is filmed with an energy and camerawork influenced by arthouse US and French films of the 60's. Music is big band jazz reminiscent of the intro to The Hustler, and this all helps the film bounce along nicely. Locations range from building sites, the beach and a coal factory scene similar to the end of Dirty Harry. Dubbing is terrific, Bobby Kim's cigar chewing Charles Bronson-performance is helped by a 30's gangster film accent: "In this neighborhood, sweetheart, you don't need high heels, you need running shoes'. HJL sounds quite dopey but it all adds to the fun.
Fights: Fast zooms and cuts like a Spaghetti Western gunfight editing at double speed. The camerawork here is jerky handheld tracking, similar to the Krav Maga fights in Batman Begins. Which is a double-edged sword: while they add to the panic and adrenaline of the heroes being surrounded, it also means that many of the best moves are not seen in full. When it's the boots of HJL and Bobby Kim in action you can more or less keep the camera still and the number of edits down. There are some fun touches like kicking to camera, a double headlock seen from below, and a ludicrous leap from the 6th storey (using 'special' effects).









Fashions: Jawdropping, I mean almost criminal in parts. Sparkling white flares, Jon Pertwee-era Doctor Who ruffled shirts, jackets with enormous squares and colour clashes that will have your DVD decoder weeping at points. And did you even know there was such a thing as a kipper cravat? I didn't. Worth watching for this aspect alone.

There's Ninja in the title, but is there a Ninja in the film?: No.

Overall: 3.5 out of 5. A must for fans of grimy city bashers like 'Iron Dragon Strikes Back', this is a notch above Hard Bastard, and a great Friday night lark. Only downside is the overenthusiastic camerawork in the fights

Buddha Assassinator

Plot: After a nice studio fight intro ("There was much conflict in the fighting world...") featuring Corey Yuen Kwai, bumbling dogsbody Hsiao Hai (Mang Hoi) is bullied at the local Shaolin Temple, forced into demeaning chores such as the dreaded 'pillar dusting duty'. A kind hearted oaf, he still manages to take care of his (suspiciously young looking) Ol' Dirty Uncle San Lu (Chin Yuet-Sang), who has a predilection for dog stew. Hsaio fortuitously saves a visiting prince (Hwang Jang Lee) from an assassination attempt, involving Hsaio's sister (nbeknownst to him). The Prince favours Hsaio, inviting him into his entourage whereby the strutting Hsiao takes full advantage and beats up his former bullies. The Prince's jealous head honchos Mo (Lung Fei) and Chow Erh (Hau Pak-Wai) frown upon this accident prone newcomer and plot his doom. Meanwhile Hsiao, after serving up the Prince's favourite lapdog to his ever-hungry uncle, discovers that the Ching dynasty-supporting prince is an exponent of the aggresive Lo Han style, a sworn enemy of his uncle's buddha fist. Uncle teaches Hsiao the buddhist fist, and when the Prince discovers that a style he swore to destroy still survives, the gloves are off: it's Lo Han vs Buddha Fist!

Style: Some half-decent temple and palace locations, plus the Prince's secret room where he practices the sleeping fist form is an hallucinogenic delight! Funky wah music mixed with pan-pipes.

Training: Two standout sequences; the Prince's sleeping fist form is superb: a sleeping HJL leaps from his bench and throws furious leg and hand shapes, roaring with laughter, and then throws himself back to sleep again!


The Buddha Fist features a five-elements style - Metal, Wood, Fire, Earth and Water; with each substance used to train different attributes (hardness, sharpness, roundness, speed, etc.).


Fights: A game of two halves- mostly comedy to start, Hsaio's return to beat up his former bully monks ends up in a full scale bundle (for those who grew up in 70's South London :). Later there's a tumble in the local gambling parlour including a stack of benches to pin the miscreants down. The assassination attempt itself is nothing special, but as soon as the training starts the whole movie shifts a gear. Immediately Lung Fei and Hau Pak-Wai are brought in to deliver a fierce duel attack with terrific co-ordinated spearwork and equally good tumbling blocks and counters from Mang Hoi. There's a gruesome ending to this fight involving a barrel, possibly inspired by Donkey Kong.





Hsiao has to use all the elements of Buddhist fist against the madness, fury and, er, sleeping of Lo Han; HJL has his work cut out and blags a Halberd to help his trademark boot. The tide starts to turn when Hsiao pulls off the Prince's ponytail and uses it as a weapon against him. A cracking end barney, reminded me of Chess Boxing's end battle with constant, clever shapes; tumbling and varied attacks.

Grammatical correctness of title: Yep, it's a real word: whereas 'Buddha Assassin' could be interpreted as as assassin from Buddha, 'assassinator' makes it explicit that it's Buddha as an assassin's target. Next week: should it be "Millionaires Express", "Millionaire's Express" or "Millionaires' Express"...?

Overall: 3.5 out of 5, really a game of two halves with an average comedy storyline and underuse of Lung Fei and Hau Pak-Wai to begin; but once the training sequences start though it really ups its game and is an excellent closing 30 minutes. A must for HJL fans, of course.

Canton Viper
Plot: Before I start, let me make clear that this is a review of the unsubbed/dubbed version and as such I can't account for plot details, but here's my best guess...the rough story is of Kal Ma Ryong (HJL), who appears to be a rogue carpenter, being hunted by local militia, led by a stern captain (Hyeon Kil-Su) who was involved in the rape of Kal's mother when he was a child. Victorious but badly wounded, Kal crawls back to...the wife and son of the captain he killed. HJL becomes a father figure, teaching the lad honour, carpentry (with very poor Health & Safety, it must be said) and how to kill people with tridents. He also saves the mother from a gang of would be rapists, tieing in to his own childhood experience. Meanwhile the town elders plot to be rid of Kal once and for all, but must first get past his brother in arms, a mysterious man in black. Following the final showdowns, the boy and his mother discover Kal killed dad - and they have a heart rending decision to make - forgive and forget, or vengeance...?

Production: A pretty low budget - any indoor scenes are very basic, and most of the film is set in forests and meadows (with a token waterfall thrown in for good measure). HJL directs and whilst the fight choreography is understandably excellent, the tracking shots are quite basic - some snappier editing would have been welcome at points. Good dramatic performances from HJL and the lad, it's also nice to hear HJL's own voice for once, a booming baritone which really accentuates his trademark 'laugh-uproariously-and-then-immediately-look-cross' special move. Music is a great mix of Spaghetti and Blaxploitation wah-funk.

Training: A quick form at the beginning from the captain, otherwise all we get is carpentry training, including how to plane really quickly. I can only assume junior grew up without a full quota of fingers if he followed this.

Fights: Terrific. The first showdown between HJL and approx. 40 black-clad militiamen is jaw-dropping. These soldiers attack in complex formation, break off, reform anew and attack again - this reminded me of the Yagyu clan in the Lone Wolf & Cub manga (especially the 'Yagyu wheeel', as filmed in 'White Heaven in Hell'). The attacks are varied involving boot, spear, razor-edge shields and swords; and as you can imagine Hwang's feet don't get much rest. Highlights include a terrific full-circle of reverse turning kicks when surrounded; leaping onto shoulders to deliver head kicks, and (somewhat bizzarely) a 'Hadouken' fireball to free himself from an unwelcome group hug! When the captain turns up he's all weight but too slow, Hwang delivers a brutal 17 kick combo to kill him.

Next up is a fun rumble between 'the man in black' and another officer. We've already seen the stranger kick a guy into a coffin (classy), and so I expected the officer to be thrashed. But no - we get some comic relief as the officer starts chanelling chi and turns the tide, to the stranger's shock. The stranger prevails by spearing the officer on his own penant, which I'm sure would be more ironic if I could read what was written on it...

The fight against the rapists is more vicious boot from Hwang, then it's the showdown against the town elders - who curiously appear to be a collection of kung fu mainstays! There's an Abbot, a Monk, a Fox, a Bandit and an Old (well, middle-aged) Dirty Bastard for good measure. Hwang must cope with a barrage of flying kicks, furious strikes and magic; including a neat burning rope trick. And don't miss the co-ordinated mass kick! Luckily Hwang has remembered to bring his spinny bandleader poles from Secret Rivals 2 and prevails - great (and unusual) to see Hwang pressed so hard in a one v many.

Overall: I'm not going to give this a score yet simply because I've not heard/seen the dialogue, but will say that the language barrier should not prevent any HJL or boot fan from picking this up. It's low budget but with superior fights and a touching ending inspired the Lone Wolf and Cub manga. Try and source the best print you can as the forest lighting can make for difficult viewing during the start and end fights.

Demon Strikes

Plot: Master Chiao (Leung Kar Yan) is a senior in the 8 Beggar Lords association - great name - and is wrongfully accused by court officials of stealing a valuable secret book of invincible techniques, the "Mao Shan tricks". The court's head catcher Lord Pao (Jason Pai Piao) is despatched with his agents to track down the book and recover it; aided by an eager junior who brings Pao their first lead. Although Chiao is innocent he claims the tricks belong to his association, and vows to retrieve it too.

Meanwhile Chiao starts his own investigation to clear the Beggar Lord's name, running into mysterious Lamas and thugs employing the Mao Shan tricks. Here we see some 'Spooky Encounters' magic gimickry with voodoo dolls, grenades, spells on scrolls to give invincibility.

In the background is Lieu Feng (HJL), who is best described as Black Magic Fox here: lots of seedy rituals involving "women's blood" and disco lighting.

As Pao's troop of inspectors uncover the mystery of who is involved in the theft, the suspects are whittled down one by one. Treachery in Lieu Feng's own clan leads to in-fighting, and finally. Chiao and Pao take on Feng in his palace for a sci-fi-hi-kicking showdown, with an 'Eh? Was that it?' final shot along the lines of '60 Second Assassin'.

Now, what is odd about this plot is that it has two main themes. One is Lord Pao's meditations on death. Following the killing of the first suspect we see Pao chased by the dead man's daughter; and we warns her against the negative nature of revenge. We later see mercy killings, self sacrifice, self defence killing, capital punishment; with Pao deeply moved by the loyal valedictions of his squad. Very Kurosawa, and done quite well (depsite some suspect subs).

And yet mixed into this is the 'Spooky Encounters' stuff - the psychedelic interludes involving HJL, seedy torture and special effects which looked dated in the 70's. These would be all well and good if it was camp horror Kung Fu like Kung Fu Zombies , but it sits very awkwardly with the seriousness of the rest, and ruins the drama.

Fights: Beardy is as crisp and efficient as ever; fast block and counter, leap, balance, repeat. Always a joy. Piao's clearly a basher at heart but works in some nice broadsword, meaty boot, and even the odd shape. Notable fights are the arrest of the bean-curd maker, with some decent stunts and sword; a fun gang rumble at the cliffside involving an iron hoop vs. sword and whip. There's a decent two vs. one kickoff at a beautiful pagoda that's open to the elements, and an all too short playoff featuring the winner and HJL which will have you reaching for the remote to watch his flying kick again.

But the finale: a letdown for me. Here we have Beardy and Paio vs HJL, in what could and should have been a classic of shapes & basher taking on the kicking king. Unfortunately, there are two big problems. Firstly, the fight sees HJL fight in a garish uniform against a garish palace interior, so although the fighting is furious it can be hard to follow. But worse, the fight is laden with daft wirework and ludicrous black magic laser fire! When you have ingredients as good as these 3 fighters, you don't need lashings of cheap sauce - keep it simple. For example the 'Secret Rivals' end fight works really well because it's set in a quarry, no gimmicks, and so you get to concentrate on the fights.

Overall: 3 out of 5. There's just enough Beardy, HJL and Piao quality here to make it above average, but this is a film with an identity crisis and a waste of a potentially brilliant finale.

Version watched: Vengeance video, 86 mins (Pal); not too bad: colour bleed, frequent minor scratches, 1.85:1

Hero of the Wild (aka Heroes of Shaolin)

Plot: Revenge with a twist. Bounty hunter Tu Tashan (Chen Sing) seeks out Yehai the hero to avenge a previous defeat. The now aged Yehai is beaten and commits suicide in shame, but begs Tu Tashan to save China from Ming traitors, specifically represented by Hwang Jang Lee (which is pretty convenient). Meanwhile Yehai's son Hsao Hu (Tin Kwa Chun) has watched his father's death and wants revenge on Tu Tashan: but Tu Tashan promises to train him and let him have a pop at killing him any time he wants.

As our heroes walk into town, they are commisioned by a masked (in fact, double-masked) stranger to kill Tien Luon Chong (Hwang Jang Lee). Which is handy, as they were going to anyway. They cheerfully take the strangers money after explaining their somewhat Trading Standards-unfriendly contract: "If we don't want to kill who you ask, we keep your money anyway".

Tu Tashan starts Hsao Hu's training in their idyllic cave by a forest waterfall (ah, if only all Martial Arts training was in that scenery, I'd do it all day long). Tu Tashan makes another challenge, against Lui Chan Yuan (the always brilliant Lo Lieh) but is defeated by trickery. As the duo make their way slowly to the challenge with Tien, there are some soul searching moments ("Should I kill my teacher - he killed my dad" etc.) but they suffer from the dubbing.

Tien's grandkids (including Yien Biao, hurray!) have a go at our chums, with the grandaughter Doris Lung) being the toughest. Tu Tashan has a first fight against Tien at the infamous plateau in Hong Kong where most films stage at least one fight; Tien winning but not killing Tu Tashan. Hsao Hu trains harder and the duo make a final challenge on Tien. However, the mysterious stranger returns to wreak havoc on everyone's plans....I won't spoil the ending!

Training sequences: Nothing special, a neat sword sequence by Hwang Jang Lee, and some perfunctory shapes/walking on jars/wooden dummy moments.

Fights: Tu Tashan fights punch-and-block with a bit of Eagle Claw throughout, which is not my personal favourite fighting style; but his fight with Lo Lieh is spirited enough to be good fun. The grandkid's all fight with weapons and there is some superb (and very fast) sword/staff/sai/spear choreography. As expected, Hwang weighs in with the kicking and as always, it's superb (although maybe not his best here, possibly due to overtight trousers).

Incidentally, the screenshot stems from a strange moment where Hsao demans a table to fight from: "Get me a table - I can fight from the table. At least that way I can die like a man". Well, if you insist...

Overall: 3.5 out of 5, a must for punch-and-block and weapon fans, but a bit slow in places

Instant Kung Fu Man

Plot: Instant Kung Fu Man has a simple comedy premise which must be as old as fighting itself: convince people that you are tougher then they are to (a) bluff your way out of trouble and (b) bask in a tough guy image (and the rewards it can bring). In this case our hero Shao Hu (Fang Yeh-Hip) is a kind of Kung Fu Roger the Dodger: he has an arsenal of tricks to bluff his way through various fighting and training situations.

The film starts with an(somewhat confusing) explanation of two brothers, Shao Hu and Shao Tu (both played by Fang) one of whom is a kung fu expert, and the other a devious waster. Shao Hu is sent to the Shaolin temple where his lazy antics do not go over well with our Buddha-loving friends, who decide to allow him to fight his way out past the notorious (and hilarious) Shaolin wooden men, who in this instantiation look like something from 'The Nutcracker. Ingeniously he defeats them with woodworm!

Shao Hu teams up for a robbery with Yi Lan (Hwang Jang Lee, i.e. the main man), which results in them fighting over the spoils and then splitting up. During a bandit attack on his wagon, "The Robber" is introduced as a genuinely skillful fighter, however he too falls for Shao Hu / Shao Tu's hoax and begs to be taken on as a student. Shao Hu then tricks his way into convincing a village police chief that he is a skilled fighter. Polly turns up as a fast kicker, Shao Hu "lets" The Robber get some practice on her (i.e. she beats him up). It appears Polly fancies him and from then on stalks our heroes, who (somewhat rudely) tell her she has an odour problem. Charming!

So far so farcical. What lifts this film above average are the appearances of John Liu and Hwang Jang Lee. John has been stalking our hero since he left the Shaolin temple, and is not fooled by his various Roger the Dodger trickery: and (luckily for all of us) Hwang Jang Lee is also hanging around after revenge for the earlier botched robbery. Cue two terrific showdowns ; one nightime fight between Hwang and John which is all leg-shapes and splits; and the final showdown where our hero's brother finally catches up with him only to be quickly despatched by Hwang. Shao Hu (and confusingly, Shao Tu) and John team up against Hwang's ferocious kicking, a truly terrific leg fight to end on. At last our hero's trickery comes good with inspired use of a metal hoop to cripple Hwang's kicks, and win the day.

Incidentally, the music is truly bizarre: every time Shao employs some trickery to win a fight, we hear a Polka-style version of 'Oh Susanna"!

Fights: Mostly comedy, with Fang Yeh-Hip employing tricks rather tham skill to keep him out of trouble. Corey Yuen and Polly make some decent shapes, but it's the two showdowns with Hwang and John Liu that make this a must. Luckily Yuen Woo Ping choreographs to showcase their incredible flexibility, leg speed and control. If only Flash Legs had turned up too, this would have been leg fighter heaven...

Overall: 4 out of 5, chugs along nicely and has a truly classic finale. A must simply because of the two duels between two of the all time kicking greats.